Happy New Year!!!
The three revolutionary words that have intercepted our general outlook each year. Many would consider it a new “beginning” or “rebirth” as if our individual birthday’s don’t deserve the honour. Do excuse my immediate attack on you’all righteous believers, I’m not here to crash your goals and dreams, just serving you a dose of life. In the meantime do share the goals you set, achieved and if any of the those goals included involuntary inner work and reflection. I’m pretty sure 90% of you are scratching your head right about now, if not, congratulations you just graduated from the University of 2020 with a distinction.
I gave up on New Year Resolutions a long time ago, I guess I just grew out of the phenomena and liberated myself from such expectations. Making my life so much easier and breezy beautiful with a virtual Pina colada in hand. If 2020 taught us anything… the universe definitely has other plans hence Deepak Chopra’s book – Why God is laughing as we continue to evangelize the gospel of “resolutions”. It sucks doesn’t it? But we keep it moving because someone thought inventing time would save humanity. Quite contrary!
So what made 2020 so impeccable?
Please don’t jump in and tell me the world pandemic, Covid-19 or lockdown 3.0. My enquiry is more internal than external you narrow minded membrane. So I’ll leave you playing hide and seek with this realization and make this all about me because it’s my post after all.
Something had been brewing energetically even before the 2020 countdown began. I was in Civitavecchia, Italy at the time weaning myself off antidepressants and managing the side effects of brain zaps and mood swings. It was a dark period but here I am today zapping my brain with higher meditations and occasional yoga sessions. A lighter period hit when I refused to acknowledge the pandemic and started job hunting, making Irelands “pub cultists” the centripetal of the many job rejections that followed. Let me not even get started on ‘proof of address’, ‘PPSN’ etc for the love of patriotism because I’m now a Munster fan, eating all sorts of potato dishes and managing to pronounce+spell Caoimhe. That goes to show how Sheila was clearly living in her own world when the world was on lockdown. Like, “Who the hell doesn’t pick a call on a Monday during working hours?”. In my defense, my ignorance was certainly beyond blissful.
Homeschooling my daughter taught me that my decades and lifetimes of yoga and meditation was all but a lie. No amount of zen or “Om Mani Padme Hum” prepared me for this. Our love did grow stronger regardless and I realized that I still needed to get some inner work done, i.e matematica and Italiano. I must admit, TikTok became our place of worship and refuge. “Happy days” as the Irish would say, that’s how fast we selectively integrated into the culture. I learnt that patience was for the privileged and ignorant, and had nothing to do with me, because my patience skills where under strict quarantined guidelines. But hey, we made it through.
I learnt that fighting battles that were directed towards me, didn’t belong to me so I decided to shift focus and focus shift. 2020 taught me to release and stop taking things too personally because the empath in me always wanted to help people who would never dream of helping themselves. Protecting my energy and space meant breaking ties from toxicity and understanding self more.
I learnt not everyone would celebrate your success no matter the magnitude. It’s always easier to attack and kill a spirit because people choose to marvel at misery. They say misery loves company, and my toxic repellent wasn’t manufactured in China this time round. Sometimes containing your joy and milestones delivers thee from man. Tip: Always observe how people react when you share good news, laser eyes and ears are key no matter the relation.
I learnt that it was time to stop! Stop fighting for what was never meant to be, stop being the glue that held everything and everyone together. As soon as I let go of this, I felt lighter and wondered why I signed up for a role no one asked me to. Following this I realized that they never needed it despite dragging my human saving spirit through the mud for decades. I am at peace, detached and only of service to a selected few.
I learnt to put my foot down and use my voice, silence means many things but spoken word puts a lot more into perspective. My throat chakra has been fully active since and my inner voice is on fleek, uncorrupted and en route to greater things.
I learnt to slow down and breath. A day only has 24 hrs yet I was operating on 42 hrs. That’s just how my brain and emotions where working overtime in the alternate world. My mind was always on a roll, I could’ve sworn I was doing time in slumber too. The only peaceful state I found myself in was through meditation but unfortunately, this Himalayan monk life isn’t cut out for me yet in this lifetime. I toned down on the coursework, overwhelming social media life and mental screw overs, and just breathed life into my space. Life really is what you make it, and l’m still on it.
I learnt that love comes slowly and at the right time. It’s not toxic but healthy, it’s not selfish but understanding, it’s not forced but patient. Whatever your heart desires comes into existence when the soul is ready. If self-love is out of order, then genuine love will be out of service. It’s as simple as that, you get what you give and when you find your heart desire you receive it in abundance. You will be in awe when it strikes and you would be glorified. I learnt to never give up and keep believing.
I learnt that no one really cares, a lot of people are just curious, and I shouldn’t take it too personally.
I learnt to observe more and talk less, you learn a lot as an observer especially when you listen without judgement. You learn to understand the mechanics of the human brain, how we are so different yet so similar, how to see the good in a person despite the deception. I learnt to be compassionately objective and neutral.
I learnt things can’t always go your way, but that every route regardless leads to the same outcome. We are better off trusting the process instead of fighting it, shortcuts are dangerous and bumpy roads lead to stronger foundations.
I learnt that gratitude goes a long way, so always be grateful for the little and big things that come your way. Many may expect you to give them your kidney because people are what they are but your gratitude becomes your piece of mind. A revelation of your karma and reincarnation.
I learnt wisdom isn’t a one time deal, its progressive and life is our playground. We live and we learn and repeat, that’s just the way it goes.
Life lessons never end, and I feel that 2020 was the year of acceleration because we were taking too damn long to awaken and evolve. Now as a graduate of the University of 2020, I sincerely hope you move forward mindfully, realistically and wisely because that’s what good humans do. Sending you all love, joy, peace and abundance into the new year. Remember to walk into 2021 by wisdom not by expectations!