My Last Breath On Paper

Dear Suicide Note, a letter everyone should write to express their negative emotions and thoughts, only to wash them away with positivity. 

Dear Suicide Note,

My thoughts led me to write this letter to you. Life has thrown everything humanly possible my way, I genuinely don’t know what else I have left to live for. My thoughts forced me to believe I had nothing and no one. These thoughts imprisoned my body as I watched everyone lead happy lives yet there I was. Afloat I watched my body peruse through each day with so much hate, bitterness, envy, emptiness, burden and loss of will, masking pain behind a smile as negative thoughts roamed around behind the casual talk.  Day in and day out I slipped into a deeper state of depression, digging an even deeper hole as I sought comfort writing this suicide note to you. These present battered thoughts, scared past and an unpromising future redefined who I am. I dag deeper into my thoughts searching for any inkling of hope, unarmed for a battle I have no intention of winning.  I am numb and my strength is blinded in a pool of misery. As tears soak on this note, I watch the salt dissolve the ink, as my hands tremble through this stabbing pain. This pain has to end!

This suicide note gave me all the leverage I needed to execute my “life-ending” plan. I had completely isolated and detached myself from reality and no one noticed the shift. I came to the conclusion that no one would miss me so my absence and last breath on paper wouldn’t be heard nor felt. Why was I crying though? What did these tears signify? Was it my endurance? perseverance? ray of hope? the realization that I was alone? unworthy? unloved? or just a sigh of relief? Then it hit me! There was something this suicide note was trying to tell me. All I had was a blank piece of paper and ink to create my story. The blank paper represented me in pure form, as the ink represented the essence of my alleged existence. As evolving human beings, we choose different life paths, some paths lead to nothingness while others lead to success. The choice is yours, THE CHOICE IS YOURS! do you realize this? Because you’ve been given the freedom of choice, you possess the infinite power to define your own happiness. What makes you, you? This blank paper is your soul purpose and the ink is how you choose to make this life worthwhile. So I sat down and re-wrote this “suicide note”.

Dear Life Note,

I am greater than any challenge that comes my way, stronger than any storm that flashes and rumbles fear, and more resilient against thoughts draining my life force. Today I am taking charge of my life, my manifestations will be showered with positive thoughts and emotions, I will affirm joy, love and wisdom into my life and the universe will abide. God is my strength and I am one with God! The angels will pour powerful light over my life and wash away this temporary pain, fear and feelings of unworthiness. I believe that God only gives one what they can handle for only he knows the depth of strength bestowed unto me. My past is the past, the present is as is, at the blink of an eye the future stands before me and it’s looking all kinds of beautiful. All that I am experiencing now is preparing me for greater things. I am still! This world needs me and I’m not going anywhere until my job is done. 

Yours Sincerely, 

Warrior Spirit

Be the warrior spirit you’re destined to become because this world needs you. Be loving and kind towards yourself, because you need it. Sure life has its ups and down, in the spare of the moment, you might think this is it, there’s nothing left to live for and speaking life into your situation feels impossible. You’re too comfortable in that state of misery, snap out of it now! You are in charge of your life! You have the power within you, be still, your destiny awaits. When you’re feeling down and out, read this note “Dear Life” or listen to the audio as a daily affirmation. Write down your own note and keep it close.

If you need further guidance or counselling contact me:

Email: sheilabennati@outlook.com